How to Encourage Independent Play for Your Toddler
Do you struggle to get your toddler to play independently? Here are some amazing tips, tricks and ideas to encourage independent play for your toddler.
I don’t know about you, but I find toddler-hood a bit of a challenging season compared to others. They are just coming out of the baby stage, but their little brains are developing so much so quickly in these short years to make it to childhood.
That can be tough for both moms and toddlers!
One of the things I have found challenging is teaching my toddler how to play independently. And that’s just it – some toddlers need to be taught, and that’s okay!
The good news is, because their little brains are developing so fast, they are ready and eager to learn and be challenged. So challenge them!
First, let’s talk about why independent play is so important for your toddler in the first place.
Why Bother With Independent Play for My Toddler?
- Playing is how kids learn! Studies have shown time and time again that children learn best through playing.
- Independent play is great for teaching problem solving skills. If you are not right there to help your child immediately when a problem arises, it forces them to think for themselves and attempt to solve their own problem.
- Break time – it gives you a break! That might mean a chance to drink your coffee hot or to finally finish that load of laundry that you have rewashed twice already.
- Not only do you get a break, but it makes implementing quiet time a lot easier if/when your toddler stops napping.
These next points are the things that I have found to work on both of my kids, to get them to play independently. These tips take consistency but are simple, and your toddler should catch on quick!
Model Independent Play
How is your toddler supposed to know how to play independently if you do not show them?
This may or may not seem obvious, but you can start by sitting with your child without too much fun interaction, and show them how to build, put clothes on their dolls, drive with cars, whatever it may be. Then, let them have a turn, or see if they do what you are doing.
You can also try enjoying one of your own hobbies for them to see. Of course they may be interested in what you are doing, but if you spend a few minutes ‘playing’ on your own, they may start to do the same.
This also invites a conversation about the topic. When they ask what you are doing, tell them you are enjoying some play time on your own.
Observe Your Child
Does your child play best when you are not in the room or busy with your own task? Or does he or she play best when you are close but not interacting with them? I had one of each and I found this out by observing and then putting into practice what I observed.
One of my children plays best on her own when I am out of sight, out of mind, doing my own tasks close enough to watch her or hear for her if she needs me, but far enough that she won’t notice me.
My other child played best when I was sitting on the couch near him, but not necessarily on the ground right next to him. I would try to stay silent and not move too much, but he always needed me close by, otherwise he would come find me.
Maybe your child is some combination of this, or works best by implementing something totally different. Every child is unique and we all know, what works for one toddler may not work for another. Experiment!
Play With Your Child For a Set Amount of Time First
This one may seem counter-intuitive but for some kids the best way to get them to play independently is to help them get started.
Most toddlers will happily play on their own after a bit of connection with their parents or caregivers.
I have often set a 5-10 minute timer and told my toddler that once the timer is up, play time with mommy is over and they need to play on their own. Timers are magic and work so well, because they give them a concrete, physical marker for time.
Practice Independent Play Times
This is another great time to bring out the timer. You can have your toddler practice playing on their own for small increments of time throughout the day, lengthening those times as they get better.
Once they hear the timer, then they know they can come look for you or move on to something else with you.
Make sure to give them lots of praise when they make it to the end of the timer!
Have Special Independent Play Materials or Activities
Another option is to have special toys or activities that you only bring out for independent play time. This makes play time exciting and would keep them engaged for longer periods of time when it is not a toy or activity that they are already used to.
This is also another point where observation can come into play. Pay attention to what your child is interested in and have some specific activities geared towards those interest.
RELATED: 10 EASY TODDLER ACTIVITIES WITH HOUSEHOLD ITEMS
Do Not Interrupt
Have you ever been in the middle of an important task, or
I know it can be tempting to want to encourage them with a, “Good job playing independently!” or “wow, what’s your doll’s name?” “I love your tower!” etc.
BUT it can be too distracting and break their focus when they are in the middle of playing. Play is important work for a child! Not only that, but they may realize you are not busy and want you to join.
There is a time for playing with your child and a time for independent play, and it’s definitely best to not interrupt, particularly when they are willingly playing on their own.
Therefore, it is best to save the encouragement for after their independent play time.
Toy Rotations and the Right Toys
Sometimes the problem is simply toys that do not foster independent play. Or, maybe you have the right toys but your toddler needs a change of scenery.
Enter toy rotations!
Toy rotations are great for two main reasons:
Interest
They keep your child interested in the toys they already have.
If you put away some of their toys and only keep a few options out, when they are bored with their options, you can rotate them out. It will feel like they have new toys all over again!
Decision Fatigue
Only having a smaller number of options out at a time keeps the decision fatigue low.
Have you ever looked in your closet and thought you have nothing to wear, but really you have too many options?
Same idea!
Too many toys out at once can feel too overwhelming for your child. You will likely find they play better with the toys they have when there are only a few out at a time.
Thank you for reading, and I hope these ideas work out for you and your toddler. This transition can be difficult but rewarding.
